I have been juggling a lot of balls, wearing a lot of hats. Often times, that is what it takes to be a ranch wife - ready to jump into the nitty gritty at any given moment, while also keeping house and caring for kids, too. It's chaos at times. Add a business and an "in-town job" and yeah, it's hectic.
For the past year I have worked part-time hours at my in-town job. It's was a move to allow me to participate more in the Feed & Seed, and help my family more, given all of the scheduling chaos (think like, no clean socks, empty pantry, running on empty when I was working full time at the office job AND doing everything else), and it has mostly worked. However, there are still days that I wish could just be 48 hours long in order to get more accomplished... We are committed to giving our kids opportunities from dance to team sports, and trying to make time for ourselves to have joy or additional hobbies outside of farming to keep life well rounded. So, there are days that include everything from ranch work, to lacrosse practice, hours of emails, followed by restocking shelves, running errands, and making home cooked meals, add in some art, catch up on the latest episode of our favorite show, laundry/cleaning, etc.
It's hard to maintain everything - I have been doing it... but it is hard. I don't have a housekeeper (sometimes I wish I did), I try to make as many meals at home as we can (but some days it isn't possible), I don't have groceries delivered (but maybe I should). Doing the hard work does bring some amount of satisfaction, and I do feel proud of myself, but also really, really tired. It's hard to be "on" when you go from one job, to the next, especially when you are part-time, trying to keep track of what went on since I was last there, or what I left off doing the last time I was in!
This weekend I recieved a forced pause - breaking a bone in my foot (first one in 32 years!). It wasn't even a good story... Not livestock related or anything (ha!). Simply rolled an ankle and landed wrong in 1 step! And boom, broken and really not capable of helping with much. I am not great at sitting still so here I am doing some reflection in this forced (maybe necessary) R and R.
What I have noticed, especially over this summer with school being out and having our kids with me more, is that life can be so much more colorful and vivid, outside of the 4 grey office walls I used to sit in 5 days a week. I don't mean it as a knock - that job has given me/our family the ability to do so much and I have been grateful for it. Our life has just changed, and the Feed & Seed has provided us with a unique opportunity to do things differently.
However, once I got out of the grove of the 5 day a week commute, I realized how much time I spent doing.... not much... or at least not much that I feel is important to me anymore. Running to daycare drop offs, zooming down the highway, already exhausted from the morning run around, just to file paperwork and have a headache by the end of the day, rush home for 2 hours of family time where we are all burnt out... rinse and repeat for years.
Again, this job has provided me serious security over the years and plenty of growth, but it will never feel the same as spending the summer swimming with my kids on a sunny day or taking them on fun and educational summer trips. Even bringing them to work at the family business, and having opportunities to be more creative and more available to take care of our home and all we have built.
This summer, I was able to plan themes for the weeks with the kids home - we have done art week with painting lessons on the beach and gallery tours, blueberry picking and canning, flower exploration and crafting, and there's a bunch more on the line up! I'm excited and summer didn't used to feel that way, except for a tiny portion of the week between Friday evening and Sunday evening when I was working full time. In the office, I notice how quickly the candy bowl gets emptied week to week - when it is refilled, that's the highlight of the day. It makes me sad realizing that a little piece of sugar is the thing that keeps some of us motivated to just get through another day. When I'm at the homestead, running around with the kiddos, or at the store, there are so many better motivating factors - the satisfaction of our customers, the well being of our children, and my own health. I feel alive, even when there are problems to solve.
That said, as the business continues to grow, my attention is needed more and more on the store (and for our kids). I'm finding the greatest luxury in life, is time.
Time for slower mornings and homemade breakfasts, time for creativity, time for helping others and participating in things that otherwise would have been out of reach - maybe even time for relaxation.
I am feeling very grateful for the ability to have the time, due to the support of our feed store. If not for that, then I wouldn't be able to do this. And, I want to make that worthwhile for all, by giving back to the community through agricultural opportunities and providing the best service and experience you can at our store or with beef from our ranch.
It is looking possible for me to leave my office position entirely before the end of the year - so I may just be able to do more with my time that is truly meaningful to myself, my family, and community. I look forward to expanding the business offerings, growing, and participating in more town events, and hosting more at the store, too!
Stay tuned on updates when the final day comes and maybe what recovery is going to look like for my broken bone!
Thanks for reading my ramblings!
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